Maybe True Stories........

Okay, so I guess the first thing I should do is try an attempt to write something to let you know just who I am.  My name is Gina, I live in a rural one horse town in Eastern Kentucky with my Hubby and three kids. I am 31 and nearly turning 32, in April 2011.  I've been surfing around the interwebs trying to find people who are like me, and to be honest when I say like me... I mean fat.  I try constantly to overlook my weight, avoiding mirrors, not wanting to go to functions that my husband has as work because I don't want his co-workers to make fun of him for having a fat wife.  I have three kids who are just wonderful, and I love more than life itself, but I am so afraid of going into their school and their friends picking on them for having a fat mom.  This actually has happened once.  I'm just going to put this all out there, I'm very very VERY insecure about myself, I hate the way I look and I have little to no self confidence.  I've never been myself online, thats hard to admit, I normally just avoid telling anyone who or what I am.  I am afraid if people really knew what I thought and felt I'd be hated or something like that.  This is a whole other can of worms  I intend to address in this blog.  Fact is, I have so many issues and most of them I create myself, including my weight.  I know that with some hard work I could lose this weight and I could be more healthy but I'm too lazy to even do that 90% of the time.  My head is often filled with a million different things and I fear that's going to come across in this blog so please if I tend to ramble and switch subjects quick try to bare with me, I'm doing the best I can.  I tend to worry most of the day about things I can't control or things I can't begin to understand, like my husband and kids being made fun of cause i'm fat.  I worry about bills, house cleaning and other things and I know this all might seem very boring and typical but thats just me I guess, boring and typical.  Anyway, I really want to give myself a chance to be me and try to lose this weight, I want to see who is underneath all this crappy fat.  I get so sick of myself, and I just can't stand me period.  I'm not at all happy, even tho I have things in my life a lot of women hope for... like.. a wonderful family, kids. I have every chance to be happy but the one hold back I have is myself, my weight is killing me and I need to do something about it.  So if you read this and you think you can relate or want to maybe be friends or anything please subscribe or however you do it on blogspot.  This is my first time here so I'm a extreme newbie to so many things!! 

Okay.. here goes... the first time I have ever admitted these facts to anyone.
Current Weight: 298lbs.
Size: 3-4x tops - 28 pants.
Height: 5ft.  <- Yes. You can imagine what I look like :(
Pictures:  Well i'm working on that.. babysteps for me... but I will try my best to get those posted within the next two weeks.  That's a goal of mine.

Goal: 198lbs by April 2 which is my 32 birthday... is this unrealistic?  Lemme know...

mini-goal : 285

Okay I will do my best to update this at least every other day or in fact daily.. thanks for reading my first post....

BTW my blog name isn't saying that I intend to leave you guessing if I'm real or true, I'm 100% honest on this blog, but the name came from a song that Lauren O'Connell Sings, I just so happened to be listening to it when I signed up and couldn't think of anything at all clever so I went with this.